Being Uncomfortable

Tuesday night I had to lead a meeting. I had planned pretty much all that day. I had an agenda that could be tweaked if needed, but I really wanted to stick to it. Well, nothing that night went as planned. I left there feeling defeated, embarrassed and discouraged. When I got home that night, I talked to a good friend of mine that reminded me that God is probablly stretching me in this area. I feel like I am back at the beginning; relearning how to lead a group of ladies in ministry. This can be a good thing. I knew that I had been getting really comfortable the last couple of years in leading this group, but I didn't know that it meant that I would be uncomfortable later.

I don't like to be uncomfortable! I like to know what's happening, when it's happening and why. I feel vulnerable. And that's a scary place for me to be.

So, what can I do in this uncomfortable place of leading a fairly new group of ladies? Do I stick with what I know? Do I change things up? Or is it me that I need to change? I think God is telling me that I need to trust in Him more by being more assertive. Not mean, but really sticking to my guns. If I have prayed over my agenda and know that this is what we need to accomplish tonight, then I need to trust the Lord that He will give me the courage to follow through with it.

It's not in just this area of leading this group that I feel uncomfortable and need to trust in God more. It's also in my dealings with Drew and his special needs, disciplining the boys, talking to my neighbors, volunteering at Jarod's school, and the list goes on.

As Jarod was preparing for school, I read Joshua 1:9 "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified, do not be dscouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." I prayed that for him, especially all that first day.

I need to pray that for myself and allow God give me the courage to be strong in the midst of my uncomfortableness.