Some thoughts...

I went to a mom's conference a few weeks ago for a time of encouragement. I had fun with my friends that came with me and God did teach me some things of the heart. However, one of the workshops I attended left me feeling so discouraged. It was a workshop for moms with special needs kids. It was to be a time of encouragement, but it wasn't. In fact, I was little put out. The lady that gave the workshop was a mom of a special needs kid and she talked about very practical things that we could as moms to help make life easier. For example, packing the child's backpack the night before school. Really? Come on. I'm not meaning to bash this lady. She had very good intentions, but I wanted more!! There was nothing spiritual in this talk at all, either! I left feeling like I just wasted an hour of my day and thinking that I could do a better job. Those other moms that were there needed encouraging.
So, I have been thinking a lot about this and what I would do if I lead a workshop for moms with special needs kids. This is just a rough draft and thoughts that need a lot more processing, but here it is:
1. I would talk about how God designed our kids with a purpose. Psalm 139: 13-14 says, "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." What a wonderful thing for moms to know...that our kids were created by God. He knit them together and they are wonderfully made! God delighted in designing them!
2. God chose us as moms to be exactly what our kids need to help them grow and succeed. In Luke 1 an angel came Mary and told her that she was highly favored and that the Lord was with her. To be highly favored means that one is regarded with preferance and is privilged. I find great comfort in knowing that God prefered me over other women to be the mom for Andrew and that God is with me through every situation; good or bad.
3. We, as moms need to mourn the loss of dreams we have for our kid with special needs. I had big dreams for Andrew. I wanted him to have lots of friends, enjoy going on vacations, to play outside in the summer with the neighbors, to succeed in school. Andrew may do these things someday, but for now he doesn't. And, that's hard for me! I have on occasion written down these dreams and tucked them away. I hold on to them for him. And I also cry over them. I grieve for that loss right now. I think moms need ot know that this is OKAY! It's okay to want things for our kids and to dream big. But it's always okay to cry, be angry, hurt and mourn over those things that get lost because of the way our kids are.
4. Moms with special needs kids need support, whether that's through a church, friends, family or a support group. We can't do this alone. We need to vent and share what's going on in our kids' lives and in ours. Joni and Friends Family Retreats are a great way to find that support. These family camps are designed for the family as a whole and also allow time for moms to be in a small group to share our thoughts and feelings.
5. Parenting a child with special needs is not black and white. There is no right way to do something. We have to do what's right for our families. We absolutely can take someone's advice, but if it doesn't work, that's okay. We just keep trying until something does work.

These are just some of the thoughts that have been rattling around in my brain. I envision praying over of the moms, allowing them to share their story in a small group, sharing these things above and more. I want other moms to be encouraged and know that they are not alone in their journey.